A Wave Upon the Sand
by Kirabaros
Summary: At the aftermath of a major battle, Jake realizes how much his partner Sari really means to him and is in danger of losing the chance to tell her how he truly feels.


**A Wave Upon the Sand**

"Jake, I'm fine."

Jake ignored that statement as he tore open a packet of alcohol swabs and lifted the injured limb to examine it and clean the abrasions. He made a face when he heard the hiss. It was his fault this happened. He gave the signal and she followed the plan right down to the letter and yet… He should have been more careful. He should have done it himself.

"JJ… please."

Jake closed his eyes and took a breath before looking up. She was looking at him with that slight smile she always gave when he needed reassurance. She gave it when they got into the scrapes they did as kids. She gave it when she soothed a hurt child or adult. It never failed to bring that feeling of reassurance or guilt.

The hand was cool and gentle as it stroked the side of his face. Jake looked at her gentle brown eyes looking at him. He put his own hand up and covered hers with his. He tried not to flinch at the blood and dirt crusted on her face and limbs. His throat convulsed as he slowly removed her hand and picked up her injured arm as he finished cleaning her arm.

Sari chewed her lower lip when Jake removed her hand. It was another blunder on her part but she needed to get Jake to listen. Lately it seemed like he was angry with her or something since he wouldn't talk to her unless it was related to the Rangers. She couldn't understand why since she followed the plan.

They were engaged in a battle with Cheyenne forces. She was with the Rangers that had grown exponentially once word spread about Cheyenne. The refugees that filtered in were eager to join in once they heard about her, Jake and Hawkins and what they did to expose Cheyenne. Of course she had members of her old squad that made it back to the states and then there was Pavarotti, the only other Janus operative she knew of. At least the one that chose to reveal himself to her.

They were a pretty large unit and were ready to defend Jericho. Major Beck was coordinating the effort and had looked to the leaders of Jericho to plan the position of the troops. Her own unit was following her lead in advancing and picking off as snipers. She had her old guys with her and they were the best in her opinion and they could read each other without many words. When she introduced them to Jake, he seemed withdrawn. It carried over into the battle.

She did her job until the mortars were brought in. They had to make adjustments and Beck trusted her call. They took them out but there were injuries. Kittridge, her old radio man would have been blown to bits if she hadn't dragged him away. They both ended with shrapnel and lacerations but were able to keep firing and Cheyenne was pushed back. Now she was sitting here and Jake was treating her like she did something stupid.

She had enough and said, "Jake. Stop it." She jerked her arm away aware of the pain that came through. She held it away from him and walked away. Sometimes actions worked better than words or proved words' point. She went to where the supplies were and began cleaning her arm herself. She turned to look at him before turning back. "It's just a few lacerations. Kittridge got the worst of it."

"What were you thinking taking on the mortars then?" Jake narrowed his eyes at her back. It was ineffective since she wasn't watching. Then again she always knew how to carry an argument, never biting to actually fight. It made it difficult to try and win anything with her.

"My job Jake," Sari replied as she turned on the water and rinsed the grim and dirt from her arm. Kenchi did a good job pulling out the shrapnel. She always had confidence in him even when he was a town drunk. "In case you haven't forgotten, Beck had my unit in charge of taking out the wild cards. We're the snipers."

"That doesn't mean that you put yourself at risk getting that close," Jake countered trying not to shout. Why the hell did she do this to him? He knew that she was doing her job but she didn't have to take risks like that. Did she think she had to because she signed her guardianship back to his mom?

Sari gritted her teeth since the wound still stung. She followed Jake because they were partners. He never tried to boss her around but always asked her opinion. Now he was acting like he was the boss of her. She never did that unless she saw that he was in trouble and he knew better but not the reason why. "Jake, we're at war now. You and I both know the risks of being a soldier. We have our orders and we follow them otherwise we would have had more people, good people, dead and injured."

"This isn't some scenario or one of your challenges with chess…" Jake was still holding the packet of swabs as he motioned with his free hand.

"Oh please Jake. Beck asked us all our opinion," Sari replied holding a sterile cloth to dry the wounds. She had a few cuts on her face from rocks and debris but those could be attended to later. "As I recall, you were particularly in favor of having the snipers up on that swell since it was from experience that the high ground was a good vantage point."

"Don't."

"Don't what, Jake?" Sari finally turned around to look Jake in the eye. "Are you giving me orders Sheriff? You know that won't fly since I'm in charge of the Rangers, the militia. Or are you trying to talk to me as a friend because that won't work either."

"Don't you dare argue semantics with me." Jake pointed at her. "Friends don't do that to each other."

"Friends?" Sari bit back the tears. "Jake, we were never friends. We were partners once but now…" She looked up at the ceiling of the room. She couldn't hold back the tears. "We swore that we would have each other's backs."

"We do. I'm watching out for you."

"You're trying to boss me. We haven't had each other's backs since we got back from Texas and even more so when my squad came to town." Sari wanted to say more but she was close to saying what she truly felt. "You never bossed me Jake. Paul did, the old biddies did, everyone did but never you."

"You're comparing me to that asshole?" Jake widened his eyes in disbelief. "You think I'm him?"

"I never said that," Sari replied as she pointed at Jake. She narrowed her eyes in disbelief. "Do you really think I would ever think that low of you? Me? The one who stood up for you when that shit happened with Chris and Mitch? You have no idea the lengths I went to on the some of the near serious shit that never happened especially when the attempt on you was stopped."

Jake paused. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You know, never mind. It was too long ago and apparently the near end of the world can even break a partnership," Sari replied as she turned and left the room. Tears were starting to run down her face. She passed Emily on her way out holding the cloth. "Sorry Ems."

"Sari?" Emily looked at Sari's retreating figure. If it hadn't been for Sari, things would have been worse. That much was certain and Kittridge would have been dead. She had been worried when they brought him in but he was alive and kicking. She had heard the stories of his time with Sari being under her leadership and she understood her old friend a lot more. She followed to find that Heather was there and following.

Jake stood there a long time. He put a fist to his mouth trying to hold his emotions in. He was an idiot. Sari was the only one who insisted he was worth the time and not a screw up. Yet he left her and she had to leave Ryan. They came back the same day and the bombs and everything. It was like they never left.

He knew why he was acting like an ass. When those three squad members of hers came and when the medic Harriman gave her a hug, he felt… He hadn't seen it before but he became aware of those feelings. It was like a wave breaking upon the sand. He just wanted to keep her safe and now he may have lost her for good.

~0~0~

Sari sat on the bench with Heather and Emily looking at Main Street. It had changed so much since the bombs fell. She was not used to the barricades that had been placed in certain areas for security. Beck's men did a good job of keeping things as normal as possible and Gray kept the town sane. He was a good leader once he got his head out of his ass.

The world had changed and they were just trying to survive it. She couldn't help but feel the way she did and she suspected that Gail knew all along. She said, "You know Ems, Heather, I never got used to seeing barricades when I was in Iraq. It was always like it was part of a whole different world."

"What was it like?" Emily asked after sharing a look with Heather. It probably wasn't the time to ask but it certainly was a nice diversion from the real problem.

Emily always knew deep down that it was Sari that Jake loved. He may have seen it as a love like he had for his brother but she couldn't compete with that and to be honest, she did have feelings for him but it wasn't like what she had for Kittridge.

"It feels like I'm back there only this time…" Sari sighed and smiled as she looked at her bandaged arm. The clean white gauze stood out but she was no stranger to it. "You don't need to hear about that. Thanks for just sitting with me. How's Ryan?" She looked at the two women who were close friends.

"She's fine. She still says that you're her guardian," Heather replied with a grin. "You know, Beck said that we did good even with the unexpected things that happened."

"All thanks to you," Emily added with a smile. "Thanks… for bringing back Kittridge."

Sari couldn't help but scoff a laugh, "Yeah he thanked me too. Couldn't stop talking about you Ems."

"Hey uh…"

The three women turned to look to see Jake standing there. Emily and Heather looked at each other wondering if they should leave. They knew what the problem was between the two players. It wasn't that hard to miss and the argument they had in the med center was a long time in coming. It was Sari who said, "Does Major Beck need a report?"

Jake looked at the three women looking at him. He looked at Sari and replied, "Can we talk?"

Sari was worn out. She didn't know if she had whatever it took to deal with the emotional aspects. However if she let it fester, it would just put a strain on everything else. "Yeah we can. Ems, Heather, I'll catch up with you later. Mary owes me a drink."

Emily and Heather left without saying much. Emily gave a look at Jake and the two took off towards the med center. There were still injuries to treat.

Jake waited until they were gone before motioning, asking if he could sit. Her response was to stand up to meet him. "Um…"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"You were right."

Sari studied Jake's face. "Right about what?"

"That I've been bossing you around," Jake replied, "And behaving like an idiot. And you were right in that we're supposed to be partners."

"We haven't been partners in a long time, Jake," Sari replied. Her hand automatically went to the necklace she had worn every day and started to walk away.

Jake caught up with her and grasped her arm gently, "Yeah we haven't… at least I haven't been to you." He sighed and looked down, trying to find the words to say. "I know you've watched my back and I left you behind and I regret that. I always will because I left you to the sharks. You upheld it better than I ever did…"

"Jake, stop. I really don't want to hear the same story and I don't hold a grudge because I knew the score. This I don't." Sari started walking away.

"Sari, please," Jake followed.

Sari turned to look at Jake and said, "What do you want? Everything I've done lately has you looking at me like I did something wrong. I don't know what it is but I can't take it anymore."

"And I'm sorry but you seemed to have found people you knew and I didn't know about and then what happened today…" Jake stopped himself. He took a deep breath but couldn't finish what he wanted to say.

"You always trusted my judgment before. Harriman did but it was never the same. We had each other's backs in battle but it was never the same." Sari emphasized it as best as she could. How could she tell Jake what she had felt long before they left Jericho and that it changed when she almost died after that mission with Janus? He had to know how much she trusted him when she revealed her involvement with them as an operative. "We're not little kids anymore Jake."

"You're right we're not. We're adults and…"

"We make decisions. Ones that we think are right even if it hurts," Sari finished looking at Jake with a sad look. "I have the Rangers that are my responsibility. You're the sheriff. You know you can always call us up."

Jake didn't need that to be explained in detail. He knew what she was saying. "Sari…"

"I have to check on the men and Hawkins needs to see me." Sari turned towards the building that was headquarters for the Rangers. She didn't want to do it but she loved Jake too much. She had to let him go and stop fighting him every time this came up.

Jake knew he was at risk of losing her. He knew that when she made up her mind, she stuck to it no matter how much it hurt. That was why she gave up her guardianship of Ryan to his mom. It was to make sure Ryan had somewhere to go should the worst happen. Not a day went by that he thought about the worst that could happen especially with her.

He had to tell her how he felt. He had to say it now before she walked away completely. He reached out and grabbed her arm gently to stop her. He took no notice of her surprised look as he pulled her close and pressed his lips firmly into hers.

Sari hadn't expected the maneuver from Jake. She was surprised when he twirled her around to face him. For a brief moment, she was reminded of what Paul did to her a few times and she was scared but it was dispelled when she saw Jake's face. He pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. The pressure was not unpleasant as the kiss deepened. "Jake…" She breathed against his lips as her eyes closed.

"That's what I wanted to tell you," Jake replied as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead on hers gently. "I'm sorry it took me so long. Just don't leave."

Sari felt the pressure on her head. It was gentle like the waves at the lake where they used to go for a swim. She heard his plea. "JJ…"

Jake kissed Sari again. "Don't leave. I can't…"

Sari knew that she couldn't and wouldn't leave Jake. She loved him with all her heart and showed it by wrapping her arms around his neck to hold on. Jake knew that he loved her but with everything… He had to show her that he did. Words meant little but his action of pulling her close and continuing to kiss her was a start. Her actions revealed what he always knew in his heart and washed over him as he stood there kissing her on Main Street… like a wave upon the sand.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a piece on how Jake finally realizes that it was always Sari that held his heart. Not the best of circumstances but you know ;)


End file.
